He Chose Her
by alicenotinwonderland
Summary: Marlene is in love with Sirius but it's obvious to her that he has eyes only for Remus. Perhaps, just one time, Sirius will choose her over Remus?


**So this is my first attempt at slash (even though there isn't much of it)**

**I would really appreciate a few reviews :)**

* * *

A flash of blue light. Screams. Weightlessness. A thud. Pain. She was lying on the side of the road, the water from the rain-soaked streets seeping in through her clothes. She caught snatches of the people rushing around her. Suddenly, someone yanked her up. She registered a familiar face framed by light brown hair. His blue eyes were gazing at her with panic and concern. His mouth moved, saying something she couldn't hear. His lips stretched the scars along one cheek, she noticed. He was pulling her away and she tried to find her feet and help him.

_BOOM!_

Fresh screams erupted all around them. Orange light flickered in the distance and she could see people running around. There was a flurry of movement and five hooded figures surrounded them. The man who was with her drew his wand. She was still too groggy to do the same. More flashes of light flared around her as she sank to the ground, too weak to stand on her own. Her friend was duelling as best as he could but he was outnumbered – she could see that even in her muddled state. She looked up and saw _him._ Even from a distance, she could make out his grey eyes. He skidded to a halt a little way away from the hooded figures, trying to stay unnoticed by them. He locked eyes with her and then glanced at the man who had saved her.

There was a cry of pain from beside her and she saw her saviour fall to his knees, his wand clattering uselessly ten feet away. Only two of the hooded people were still standing. They both advanced towards her and the man, wands raised – one from the side and one from the front. She looked at the grey-eyed man standing in the distance, still frozen to his spot, his eyes darting between her and the man beside her. And then he decided.

One more flash of light, maroon this time. Pain, nerve-wracking pain. She thought she'd die. Suddenly, it was gone. The agony was ebbing away. But so was her consciousness, so was her life.

The last thing she remembered was Sirius charging the Death Eater who had his wand trained on Remus. Of course, he would always choose Remus over her.

Blackness – welcoming, blessed, _painless_ blackness.

* * *

Marlene glanced at Sirius Black. His tousled hair, those grey eyes and that devilish smile were practically magnetic. Marlene was a brave girl – a Gryffindor through and through. She would pick a fight with the Slytherins or punch James Potter for bothering her best friend Lily too often. She would dare to answer back to a teacher and land herself in detention proudly. But she just didn't have the courage to ask Sirius Black out on a date.

He was the one boy who could make her go weak at the knees just by smiling at her. He'd come and sling an arm around her shoulders, telling her some joke that she would barely listen to because she was so overwhelmed by the butterflies that erupted in her stomach at his touch. But she wouldn't ask him out.

Because she noticed that his grey eyes and his devilish smile were always meant for someone else. She saw the way his eyes lit up and the way his lips turned upwards in a way they never did for anyone else, when Remus Lupin entered the room.

**X-X-X**

"Lily's still mad about James then?" Sirius asked, settling down against their dormitory wall with a bag of candy.

"No, Lily's still mad _at_ James," Remus corrected, sitting on the edge of his bed and watching Sirius throw a Bertie Botts' bean up into the air and catch it in his mouth.

"Same difference," shrugged Sirius.

"It's entirely different," protested Remus. "It wasn't fair what he did to Snape last year. She's right to be mad at me too for not stopping you lot," he added guiltily.

"Snivellus deserved it. He was the one who called her the M-word. I think Evans is just mad at _him_ and she's taking it out on old Prongsie." Sirius tossed another bean into the air and caught it.

"Would you stop doing that?" Remus said irritably. He didn't like the thoughts running through his head at the sight of Sirius' trick.

"Why, does it bother you?" Sirius grinned. "All right, all right, I'll stop," he added hurriedly at the dangerous look on Remus' face. He searched through the bag. "Let's see what else there is in here." He pulled out a chocolate frog pack and started unwrapping it.

Remus stared at him. "Is that _my_ chocolate?" He ran to his trunk and rummaged inside it for a moment before glaring at Sirius. "You traitor! That _is_ my bag of chocolate!" He dived at Sirius and a moment of inelegant fighting on the floor ensued.

"Ow, gerroff Moony!"

"Oof, give me back my chocolate!"

"Merlin, it's just some candy. I'll replace it tomorrow."

"The full moon is tomorrow! I need my chocolate!"

"Ouch! You just rammed your elbow into my stomach."

"Well then, get off me you big oaf!"

They both rolled to a stop at the foot of Remus' bed. Sirius was sitting on Remus, pinning his arms down with one hand and holding the chocolate bag in the other. They stared at each other for a moment. They were far too close for comfort but Sirius knew that his heart wasn't beating faster and his blood wasn't pounding in his ears because of his recent exertion. He was so, so _close_ to Remus' alluring blue eyes and if he just leaned forward –

"That's it, I can't take it anymore!"

Sirius jumped up quickly. Both he and Remus were breathing heavily. They looked away, blushing slightly and turned to James who was ranting about Lily Evans. The distraction was suddenly welcome.

**X-X-X**

Marlene had always known that she'd have to fight a fair few girls for Sirius' attentions. She'd never imagined that her archenemy would turn out to be a _boy_ – Remus Lupin of all people. Nobody else noticed it, she was sure. Then again, no one else was as much in love with Sirius Black as she was. No one else would watch his every move, praying that she was reading the signs wrong.

She watched him throw a pillow at Remus Lupin, laughing. The Marauders had turned the common room into a mass of pillows, cushions, sheets and mattresses leading to a massive pillow fight. James and Lily were a little way away from her, bouncing pillows off each other's heads.

She decided to bring out her inner Gryffindor and waded through the mess of feathers and cushions over to Remus, Sirius and Peter. She threw some stuffing at Sirius' head. He turned around, a laugh lighting up his eyes as he tackled her to the ground, whacking her with a cushion. She giggled and pushed him off, getting up and finding a sheet to trap him with.

She didn't notice Remus coming to his friend's aid.

**X-X-X**

Remus and Sirius both froze as Marlene's sheet landed on their heads. Sirius tripped and fell, bringing Remus down with him. They were both completely tangled in the sheet, almost pressed together like worms in a cocoon. He was close enough to kiss Remus. He knew Remus could feel his heart thudding away in his chest. But he saw the shock and confusion in Remus' eyes and leaned away – at least as much as their current position would let him.

He couldn't look away from Remus' handsome face until Marlene set them free and whacked him with another pillow.

**X-X-X**

"Hey Marlene, do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

Marlene stared at Sirius Black. "What?"

"Hogsmeade. Do you want to go with me?" Sirius repeated.

Marlene searched his face for a clue that he was anything but sincere. She knew something had happened between him and Remus since that pillow fight. They still talked and laughed together, but she could see that they were both making an effort to maintain some distance. Perhaps – perhaps he had realised he didn't like Remus after all? Perhaps she could make him fall in love with her?

"Of course, I'd love to," she said, smiling at him. She felt almost giddy with happiness. "I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall at ten?"

"Yeah," he nodded. He smiled at her too. "I'm looking forward to it."

**X-X-X**

The date couldn't have gone better. Marlene was a wonderful girl. He took her to Honeydukes and Zonko's and the Three Broomsticks. He kissed her behind the pub and sparks flew. It was a perfect day and she seemed to really enjoy herself too. They made fun of James and Lily who had ended up together since Remus was helping Peter catch up on his homework at the castle. They ate the as much chocolate as they could without getting sick. She gave him some really good ideas for new pranks. He had a great time and he knew she did too. She was brave, bold, smart and everything Sirius could ask for in a girl.

But when he greeted Remus with a thump on the back and his fingers tingled – it was just the static from his sweater, it had to be – he wondered whether he wanted a boy instead.

**X-X-X**

They made it for six months. It was more than Marlene could ever hope for. She and Sirius had genuinely tried to make their relationship work. They had gone on dates, had fun, snogged each other senseless…they had done everything any couple would do.

But Marlene knew that she had to face the facts. They weren't just a couple. There were three people in this relationship and Remus Lupin had no idea that he was the third. Some things were just not meant to be. A couple could only take two people and Marlene knew that she had to back out.

It was a blustery April evening that she finally gathered up her famed courage and took Sirius to a corner of the grounds. They talked for a while and ate the food they had brought out for a picnic.

"Prongs won't even need to mess up his hair today. All he needs to do is stand out here for a while," Sirius said, brushing his wind-tousled hair out of his eyes.

"Is that bet still on about when he and Lily will get together?" Marlene asked.

"Of course! Remus is still putting his money on the beginning of next year but I think they'll get it on by the end of this one," Sirius said. "Speaking of money, I got you something." He pulled a small wallet out of his pocket and handed it to her. "It's nothing fancy, just a standard wallet I saw in Hogsmeade the other day and I got your initials on it. I saw your old one was frayed and had a hole in it so I thought I'd get you a new one."

Marlene knew by the feel of the leather and the elegant look and the curly script in which her initials were stitched on it that the wallet was far from 'nothing fancy'. She smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you!" She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. "I love you," she whispered into his ear.

His heartbeat didn't race and he hesitated just a moment too long before replying. "I love you too."

Marlene pulled away sadly and looked him in the eye. "You don't mean it. I know you don't. You don't have to say it just to please me."

"I – Marlene, I'm sorry. I just don't feel the same way yet and I didn't want to hurt your feelings," he apologised.

"But that's just it, Sirius." She looked away. "You'll never feel the same way. Not about me."

"That's not true. Maybe in a couple more months –"

"You'd say it to Remus right now." She gazed into his eyes again. "Tell me I'm wrong."

He looked at her, stunned. Then he looked away and Marlene's heart broke. "Why?" she whispered. "Why did you put yourself – put _me_ – through the last six months?" she demanded, her voice rising. "Why couldn't you just be man enough to tell him how you felt instead of leading me on and playing with my feelings?"

"It's not like that, Marlene," Sirius objected. "I really did – do – like you. I thought what I felt for Remus was temporary. I honestly did enjoy our time together. I'm not lying about that. But… I would be lying if I said I could learn to love you the way I do Remus."

Her shoulders slumped in defeat. "I knew it. I knew it in every moment that I saw you glance at him or smile at him or hug him in your 'brotherly fashion'. I guess I just hoped that I might be able to change things." She wiped away the tears that had begun to make their way down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he said. She knew he was sincere about that. "I didn't expect I would feel so strongly for him. I'm truly sorry for doing this to you. I never wanted to hurt you."

She nodded and picked up her things. "I understand. I love you but I know you're always going to choose him. Go tell him how you feel. I don't want you to have put me through all this for nothing." She looked into his grey eyes one last time. "Thank you for all the happiness you've given me all this while," she said, smiling sadly. "I wish it could have lasted."

* * *

Marlene gasped and jolted upright even as someone tried to push her back down. She lay panting on what she realised was a bed and tried to focus on the man bending over her.

"Marlene!" The voice was fuzzy in her ears. She heard a pop suddenly and her head cleared for a moment. "Marlene!"

"Don't shout," she said weakly. "I can hear you now." She didn't try to sit up again. She squinted at Sirius. He had a shallow gash on one side and was limping but he seemed otherwise unharmed. She concentrated on her surroundings and realised she was in a dingy, dimly lit room – probably in one of the buildings they had been fighting around. It was quiet outside except for the sounds of a fire burning somewhere in the distance. The battle must be over. She craned her neck and spotted Remus Lupin lying in a bed across the room.

"Remus," she said, realising that he wasn't moving. "Is he…?"

"He's okay. I got the Death Eater before he could curse him. He's just knocked out but he'll be okay," Sirius said.

Marlene could see the guilt in his eyes. She had always been able to see everything about him. She loved him after all. "You chose him again," she whispered.

"I got to you seconds later," he said quickly. "You were already in bad shape. I sent the Death Eater cursing you flying into a wall; I think he might have broken his neck." His words were falling fast from his lips as he tried to justify himself. "You had too many injuries. You're bleeding internally. I tried to heal as much as I could. I can't take you to St. Mungo's. There's no fireplace and those blasted Death Eaters still have an anti-apparition jinx on the place that no one's been able to break. The Order managed to beat the Death Eaters this time. Moody's set up this place as a temporary hospital but there's no help coming in. I'll try to get Lily, she's better at healing spells or maybe Rockwell –"

"Sirius, shh," Marlene interrupted. "It's okay. I'm not going to – to make it. I know that."

"Mar, no, don't say that. I'll get you help."

"You've done everything you could."

"I could have helped you! Remus could have taken a curse or two, he was in better shape. He didn't fall two storeys for Merlin's sake! I could have saved you."

"You saved the person you love," Marlene said softly. "You did the right thing, Sirius. I don't blame you at all for – for anything."

"He told me he liked women more. Two days ago," Sirius admitted.

She stared at him. "After a year of all those dates you went on and those kisses you shared and – and – _after everything?_"

"Yes." He laughed hollowly. "Now I finally know how you feel and I can't tell you how sorry I am for putting you through those six months."

She laced her fingers through his. "It's alright. Everything's going to be okay."

"Nothing is okay," Sirius burst out. "You're going to _die_! You're going to be gone – forever!"

"My mum always used to say, 'Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.' I'm going to die smiling. That's how I want this to end." She looked him in the eye. "Don't – don't let this be in vain either, okay?" It was harder to breathe now. She knew by the way her heart was beating slower and erratically that it was almost time. "Even if it takes the rest of your lifetime – don't – don't let me have – died in vain. Save the world – kill – kill anyone who – who – threatens the – people you love. Promise me."

"I promise," Sirius said firmly. He grasped her hand tightly, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. "Just close your eyes. You'll be alright. Nothing can hurt you now."

Marlene nodded, welcoming the idea of no pain with relief. She was losing feeling in her limbs slowly. She slipped in and out of consciousness, only just aware of Sirius' hand in hers. In a sudden moment of clarity, she saw Remus groan and stir in his bed. She waited for Sirius' fingers to slip out of hers - for him to leave her and go to the one he loved.

Sirius didn't move.

A small smile appeared on Marlene's lips as she let her body completely give up. The last thought that crossed her fading mind was something she would hold on to forever.

_For once, Sirius had chosen her._

* * *

**Please review and let me know what you thought! **

**That was barely any slash I guess. So much for my first attempt at it. Maybe next time. This goes completely against my original head canon for Marlene but I like this idea of an angsty, sad last few years for her. Maybe I'll write more along these lines!**

**I don't own the lyrics from Taylor Swift's 'Safe and Sound': "Just close your eyes. You'll be alright. Nothing can hurt you now" or the Quote by Dr. Seuss: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."**

**The prompts used for this round were:**

**Genre: Hurt/Comfort (kind of), Romance**

**Era: Marauder's Era (the scenes at Hogwarts are set in sixth year and the battle is set just a few months after their graduation when they've joined the Order. Marlene is the first casualty of the war that the new members of the Order have seen and her death prompts Sirius to be more serious about the war and more paranoid about losing his friends.**

**Character: Marlene McKinnon**

**Pairing: Remus/Sirius**

**Colour: maroon**

**Word: archenemy**

**Song: Taylor Swift – safe and sound**

**Emotion: giddiness (mentioned in one line, I think), gratitude**

**Dialogue: "You don't mean it. I know you don't"**

**Quote: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" – Dr. Seuss**

**Bonus prompt: Bouncing pillows (use the exact same words)**


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